Jillybear... a young girl with a big heart!

Jill started beading at age 3. She loves it and always makes new little
things and comes out to me to get them tied up. I've been massively into
voluntary work. I get my kids involved and have them come along to things
that are suitable.

I used to be a family day care provider and I liked to teach my kids and
others about world issues in a gentle way. I would talk to them about less
fortunate people or situations and then we would follow the conversation
with an action/activity to help or show their understanding Eg a
fundraiser or auction. I had friend who went as far as spending their
holidays in bali to help kids who were orphans. My kids were shown pics
send back via email about what a difference only a few dollars can make.

We moved from SA to NSW 12 mths ago so I became a bit of a fb addict to
keep in touch with people. I came across WAHM's who made thigns for sale
and auctions so often Id get my kids to pick things and we would bid or
buy them. Jill came to me one day before her birthday and said someting
along the lines of "mum I want you to make me a shop on facebook so I can
sell my necklaces and give the money to kids overseas who have nothing to
eat." I just about cried! A few days after her 6th birthday I collected up
all the latest things she had made and put them up on facebook. Her nick
name was always Jillybear so that why its her shop name. Things just
started selling ...from people I didnt know, so we decided to get her a
propper site.

Approx 7 mths later her online shop was ready with the help of a lovely
stranger I didnt know from a site called littleherohosting.com (now very
good friends and I met her last time I was in SA) she gave jill all the
design work of the store for free.

So young, so v-e-r-y busy: How does Jillian Pace feel about having her own website for her jewellery business?"Very excited, very happy."Picture: Gary Warrick http://www.penrithstar.com.au

After the site went up she gave herself a goal of $1,000 before Christmas
and shes currently around $470.

We chose the company Australian Lutheran World Serive vs a well known
charity as they have much lower overheads than most places that forward on
donations.


She saw a few other great sites like yours and wanted to donate bulk lots
to them to use. She decided she wanted to also help smaller groups so she
has 1 album that changes every few months (from not for profit causes she
finds on fb). Currently she is helping Asppired Ltd.

We love your cause as we used to do special needs teens fostercare (crisis
care) until Jill was 2.
We are in the middle stages of being foster parents again for babies (0-9
mths) for emergency/crisis care.
 


















(we love you too Jilly! and Mummy of course)

 Links:
 http://www.jillybearsjewels.com/
 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jillybears-Jewels/138050662905720

You can read more about Jill here:

 http://www.penrithstar.com.au/news/local/news/general/jillybears-jewels-shine/2105290.aspx

Extract from our Facebook fan page

Extract from Facebook page 

Backpacks 4 Aussie Kids

I get sooo pissed off when I hear about kids moving placements and turning up to their new family with hardly anything!!! Dear Carer, what were you spending the money on? Where are their clothes!!!???

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    Bryce -- i totally agree it is discusting behaviour | 
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    Emma --That's terrible Des :( So sad that some people do it for the money - the genuine people know the money is barely enough to support the child!
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    Kim --Its very sad.. I had the same problem when i was doing emergency care.. And Daycare.. It made Me so cranky.. Sometimes id sit there and cry..
    

    
    
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    Melissa --My neighbour is a temporary carer, she is one of the few who will buy the children what they need and send it off with them. She had 3 little girls come in once and all they had was a tiny suitcase of clothing between them. One of the girls was the same size as my daughter so my daughter ran over and gave her some stuff. But your right it is unfair and these children need everything. Why are they not being supplied with it when carers get reimbursed and money for the things they spend on these kids.
    

    
    
  • Backpacks 4 Aussie Kids I know right?! If you have a child for 3 months or even 1 month and they move placements, they should have a least a bag of clothes that fit them as well as other bits and pieces. wtf?
    

    
    

    
    
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    Jane Grech-- Its disgusting isnt it! Maybe people should be paid in vouchers but then, there isnt a store that just sells reasonably priced kids clothing and supplies and nothing else!
    

    
    
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    Paula --

    Why would you not send their belongings. I have had my little darling treasure boy since he was 5 months old. Now 20 months. I don't get an allowance but when that horrible day comes when he goes away I will send everything with him. I will... be heartbroken. His first pair of shoes, his first hair cut. They all belong to him not me. I have just been blessed with a gorgeous child that I will forever treasure. Money shouldn't be the issue. You foster because you want to share your love and you are passionate about children. Money shouldn't be the reason you do it! Unfortunately people do it for that reason! 

    
    

    
    
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    Jenny-- i have to send kids dvds to tasmania for my friend who has 5 children in her care
    

    
    
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    Sandra -- they cld state what the vouchers are for. i know that you cannot get cigarettes on vouchers from vinnies etc so they cld do a similar thing for these kiddies surely
    

    
    
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    Melina -- Yes and stop keeping items given for the child. they are the childs not yours or your childrens
    

    
    
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    Yasmin --lol i had this issue a few days ago 2 kids been in the system for 7 months and have just come to me with a plastic shopping bag of clothes each and a pair of thongs disgusting is all i can say
    

    
    
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    Yasmin --on the bright side shopping spree !:)
    

    
    
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    Danielle --

    It pisses me off. It happens pretty regularly and it's always second hand clothes they come with so the carers get out of it as cheap as possible it's just so wrong. I have just recently had two kids move into permanent care that I had for ...12 months they needed a car and a station wagon to take the two kids and all the stuff I had bought them to their new placement. I have 4 of my own kids and their is enough toys here for them to play with but I always will buy the kids I have somethings of their own whether I have them for 2 days, 2 months or 2 years.
    Sorry to rant but this is one thing that gets my blood boiling. See more

    
    

    
    
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    Sandra -- Grrrrrrrrr when we start fostering that will NOT be happening with any of our kids! Even if I get most of their clothing second hand (most of MY kids wear second hand clothing) they'll still be taking it with them! It's THEIRS not the carer's! Makes you wonder what they were wearing during placement! How awful to be shipped off with only the clothes on your back :-(
    

    
    
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    Jane --The positive from this discussion is that it highlights there are some wonderful carers armong YOU, doing it for all the right reasons. Be encouraged by each other, and by those of us who are inspired by your passion, your generosity and love for these children requiring love and care so desperately. Keep up the excellent work, and don't let the bastards get you down.
    

    
    
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    Sarah -- Unfortunately we had to move our last child on to more experienced carers, he had a lot of stuff and EVERYTHING when with him, after all they were his. However this was not appreciated at the other end and we were told he was spoilt. He certainly didnt have a lot of toys, there was a volume of clothes but these had been gifts etc. As previously said this is their belongings, something familiar to them, of course it goes with them.
    

    
    
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    Michelle --As a carer i'm horrified that this happens. We have accepted placements that come from other carer's @ some of these children have come with nothing. i don't understand how care's can do that. We always send any clothing @ toys we have brought for the child, weather they have been with us for 2 years or 2 weeks. It is hard enough for a lot of these children moving around a lot, let alone not having anything they can call their own.
    

    
    
  • Backpacks 4 Aussie Kids It's just ridiculous! I'm going to post this comment thread in my blog, but I'll leave out your last names (no profile pix either don't worry), I think more people should know that this happens
    

    
    

    
    

We did it! Goal Smashed :o)

Look!

We did it!

Actually we've packed 1230 backpacks!!!

New goal!

 Thanks to the Perth Project who packed 500 backpacks all on their own! The Townsville Project has packed about 100!
Of course this doesn't include all the little extra bits that get sent to the agencies like shoes and toys etc. as well as toiletry packs and towels and school backpacks for our local youth shelter.

While I'm really chuffed at this achievement, it still saddens me that this needs to be done at all. It does, however, continue to amaze me just how generous people are. None of this could have happened without you... the reader! You became an active participant in our goal and you are a big part of the reason we have been able to help so many kids in care.

Thank you :o)

How hard is it?

How hard do you think it would be to be a child in care? I've been asking myself this recently. I've seen so many different types come through our doors since we started caring. Some seem happy enough to just go with the flow, from home to home, others cry and are upset and others are very angry and want their mum. We've had to call the police on one occasion and had a 7 year old try to run away down the main road and just about got hit by a car. We've had distraught kids, well behaved kids and happy kids.

But they all share a common theme . . . an underlying sadness and confusion as to who is their mum and dad and when or if they will be going 'home' wherever that may be. Sure the kids can be distracted with a new school, new bedroom and of course our cats, dogs and chickens keep them entertained. But really it's just a distraction.

What is going on inside their minds? All of a sudden they have a new 'aunty and uncle' as well as everything else they have to cope with. They are expected to just trust perfect strangers with their well being and safety, and for the most part they do.

Personally, I don't think I would have coped as a child in these circumstances, but I was never abused or needed to be removed from my parents care. I could read, write and spell and did well at school (even though I didn't like it) I never swore at a teacher, threw a chair or hit a teacher or another student. I never threatened to kill anyone or hate myself enough to want to end my own life.

Yet for thousands of kids and teens all over Australia these thoughts, feelings and actions are taking place.

Without an army of dedicated 'strangers' to care for them and attempt to show them a 'normal' life who knows what would happen to these youngsters? Our future.

I've seen kids come into our home with not only one of our projects backpacks, but with other care packages as well and I know they've been in and out of care several times in one year.

When I pack the teddies in the bags I always say a special little something to them. I hope the message gets through.

October was busy!

 These are just a couple of the piles of mail I've been getting! I usually wait till the weekend now to open everything LOL!

That amount of mail arrives at least each week, sometimes more. I'm always so touched and moved by the generosity of the people in our Australian community.  Some packages cost $20 or more to send, but I get them on a regular basis from several people.  You should know that the items go to our storage area and are sorted regularly and packed as needed.

Opening the packages is great fun and I set aside a special time to do it, because I figure if people spent time organising donations, packing them and heading off to line up at the post office, the very least I can do is take some real time out to appreciate it all. I used to take lots of pix but as you can see from the quality of some of these photos, my camera is on it's last legs and I really can't afford a new one right now.

So, I know it's been a while since I blogged.... so here's what's happening! I've gone back to work 3 days a week, initially in the prep class but for the last six weeks of term I'm filling in in all grades across the school to give teachers  extra time to work on report and catch up on non contact time etc. As a teacher myself, I bet the teachers are very excited to have this extra time at this time of the year.

Other than that I've been sorting all the undie donations into packs of 3 in size and gender!
I've used about 650 plastic zip lock bags and because I really feel bad about all that plastic, I've bought cellophane bags for the rest. (it's biodegradable!)










Also  went to the local Family Care meeting to collect donations!!!

I promise I've been busy LOL










Just to finish off this blog, here is a pix of a kids bike that was dropped off to me. I was able to give it to a 3 year old girl who had just come into care with absolutely nothing of her own. Wish I could have been there to give it to her myself :o)

Sorting Morning

Another beautiful day in Innisfail. Hot, humid and drizzly. Someone forgot to tell the weather gods that it's Spring!!!

It was about a billion degrees in the warehouse, (unless I just hit menopause), and our little pedestal fan just wasn't cutting it!






Nevertheless, three dedicated members of the local Salvos turned up to help sort the clothing into sizes and then into sets. Our project secretary Tracy was also able to help out for an hour or so before taking her little girl to a birthday party. Remember when birthday's were something to look forward too!?!!

We spent a good two hours setting out the clothing and then bundling up sets, (that's a top and a bottom) with the size marked on it.  This will make stocktaking run much more smoothly.  When the sets are put into the correct boxes, each has a stocktake form on the front of it - like so:

This means that I can go in and pack at anytime and know exactly how many of each sizes we can cater for. As you can see, if clothing is taken or added to the boxes, it's all noted on the form. That's a lot of mucking around I hear you say . . . 

Yep! It takes quite a while to set it up. But since our next goal is 10,000 backpacks it will pay to be organised :o)

All in all, I was standing in the heat on the concrete for about 5 hours! I stayed after the others left so I could open more boxes of donations and do a few other things. But I have to say that without the help of the Salvos this morning never would have happened!

des

QCWA Rocks!!!

It was my absolute pleasure to be invited to speak at this years regional QCWA conference at Kurramine Beach (about 40 mins from where I live). There were ladies there from Mackay out to Sarina and up to the Cape!

The local divisions of the QCWA have been wonderful supporter of Backpacks 4 Aussie kids since I started the project last year. The ladies have made blankets, teddies, dolls, cushions and all sorts of other things for us to include in the backpacks and nappy bags.

What can I say about these women? Well, let's see . . . for a start, not one of them was over 25 (mentally!), they were all passionate about being members of their divisions and helping their communities, yet realised that we are all part of a bigger community - from town, to state to country!

This group of highly motivated women of all ages and walks of life really know how to come together and support each other and the more needy people in their areas.

The meeting this year covered everything from proper protocols to follow at meetings, to a self esteem workshop and a Tai Chi training session.





A beautiful woman called Terri was waiting to greet me as I pulled into a car park. The very first time we met I discovered that she was the daughter of my 'Brown Owl' from when I was a littley in the Brownies!

Terri has always made me feel so welcomed to the meetings, as have all the ladies. I feel no age difference, except I think that some of these women have more energy than me!



I was treated to a coffee before my talk and of course I had scones with jam and cream afterward! You can't go to a QCWA thingy without having scones, it just wouldn't be right! (I think it's actually illegal)

I was only a little bit nervous about this presentation and I felt it went well, with lots of questions after and some really generous ladies who sneaked cash donations into my hand. As well as this the ladies loaded up my car with lots and lots of donations for the backpacks.

Several women came up to me and confessed they had tears in their eyes while I was talking about how little these kids in care may have. Some have experienced it first hand, having cared for neighbours kids and other kids not in 'official care', or growing up in a house where their parents cared for other peoples children.

I had such a lovely time chatting with the ladies, as I always do, that I was sad to leave. Hopefully I will get the chance to go to one of their craft mornings soon.

Anne from Babinda Div
 

One Chance at Childhood

Image via Wikipedia

One Chance at Childhood was supposed to provide a stable home environment for kids in care under the age of 4 years who were on long term orders or in their second and third short term placements.

It would have meant that these kids would have had a place and a family to call theirs. They would have known where they were going at the end of each day and who they were going home to.

When the One Chance at Childhood (OCC) initiative was announced by former Child Safety minister Margaret Keech in February 2008, she said if families involved with the new unit failed to address their parenting issues within 12 months, the department would cease reunification plans, recognising the importance for children of a stable, safe home environment and a loving relationship with a carer.

Courier Mail 6/11/2009

But the program has been scrapped.

Too hard basket I think.

How do you tell a parent that they can never have their kids back?

Who supports that parent through the permanent loss of  a child that they love, (yes they do usually)?

Communities Department director-general Linda Apelt and current Child Safety Minister Phil Reeves said there was no 12-month deadline applied to parents, who through the OCC program have access to intensive specialist support and remedial services.
"Child protection is complex and it would be inappropriate to attempt to restrict families' opportunities for reunification where they are clearly working with departmental officers to ensure the safety of the child," Mr Reeves said.

 Courier Mail 6/11/2009

This policy was developed after a lot of consideration and much research and thought. Why dump it?
How long is long enough for parents to get their act together and be considered suitable parents again?

I can tell you, the amount of paperwork and screening as well as household safety checks and psychological profiles that my partner went through to be carers was just nuts. But, I understand it was necessary to see that we were 'fit' to look after someone else's child. Bruce (my parnter) did point out however, that he's already raised two of his own kids and wasn't required to go through any screening process!

How long do you think parents should be given?

How many short term placements is too many for a child under 4? (a short term placement is anywhere from one month to two years)

How many times should the child be placed back with the parent and then taken into care again before enough is enough?

There is so much research out there to say that children develop appropriate emotional responses to situations and people in very early childhood. Moving them around delays or prohibits this entirely!

My grandparents fostered two boys. The boys were 7 and 9 I think when they came to them. They received the same love and care that their own kids would have got. They were in care till age 18 and always welcomed home whenever they turned up. They were assisted financially and emotionally during their first years away from home, (which was only when they needed something). I'd like to say this story has a happy ending, but it doesn't. I don't even think these two people know their carers (my grandparents) are dead.

I'd like to think these kids would have had a better chance of forming a bond with their foster parents if they had been able to be adopted or been in care at a younger age.

Who knows though?

Love to hear some of your thoughts in the comments section about this post. I'm tempted to say that all kids who have been in care for a certain amount of time under the age of 4 need to be adopted. But I have my doubts.

des

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B4AK supports Kids in the Community

KidsZone@FC Community Hero – 

Sponsored by Backpacks for Aussie Kids

Recognising our childrens involvement in the community!

The KidsZone@FC Community Hero Awards encourage nominations from the community of Kids doing their bit for the community. 

Weather it is their involvement in a community group, helping the elderly, school work, charity involvement  or something else that adds value to the community if you know of kids or a friend involved we want to know about them!

Each month the nominees for be profiled on the Family Capers Forums and the Family Capers Community will vote for the KidsZone@FC Community Hero. Winners will receive a prize and qualify for our annual KidsZone@FC Community Hero Presented in January 2011 at the Family Capers Family Convention and Awards Dinner.

Children who are encouraged to shine in areas that interest them might go on to build a career in those pursuits. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to know the recognition they received as a child via Family Capers helped set them up for the future?

Family Capers is contacting schools and community groups throughout the country to send in their nominations for Kids in Community. Join us in celebrating what our children can do.

Let the Family Capers Team know about what the Kids in our Community are achieving by nominating them or submitting article or artwork for the KidsZone@FC Mag by emailing kidszone@familycapers.com.au

Like to sponsor a Kids in the Community Award with prizes please contact linda@familycapers.com.au

(written by Linda Enever of FC) 

 Backpacks 4 Aussie Kids is pleased to be involved in this community program. We supply the monthly winner with a backpack filled with age appropriate goodies just as a 'thank you' for being you! 

It's so important to let people know when they are valued and sometimes it's really easy to overlook the kids in our lives. When we are going through a hard time, so are they, just by the mere fact they are watching what's going on with us. Kids cope with lots more than we realise and I think we have mostly forgotten what it was like to be a kid.

This program has such a positive focus. You could nominate your own child for making gains in areas only you would normally see. If you are a foster carer, nominate your biological kids for this award! They are helping kids in care too.

Can't wait to see who is nominated next!

des

Inspiring People

It's been a whole week since Tracy and I got home from the Connect2Mums conference in Brisbane and I'm still inspired! That says a lot about the people that were there and the orgainisation of the whole thing.
The project had been nominated for 'Best Service Site' award and I filled in the forms and sent them off, just in the nick of time mind you, because I live on the edge baby.... and because I was procrastinating!

I realise that I've been telling everyone who asks, that the conference was 'amazing, inspiring and so completely awesome!' Which doesn't really tell anyone much about what happened.  The problem is, that even though we were only there for a couple of days, the whole thing felt like much longer, in a really good way.

I got to meet people in real life who until now had just been logos or icons on various networking sites. My best friends Tracy and Amanda were able to meet these people that I'd been talking about for the last year and understand why I'd been ranting about how wonderful they were.

These women, (yes, mostly women and about 3 guys were in attendance), had all started their own businesses from scratch. Some of these ladies had been through the most traumatic and soul crushing experiences, near death experiences and life changing moments that I was stunned and relieved to know that not only was it possible to move forward in your life after these events, it was imperative.

I won't relay the stories here, that is something for their personal blogs and sites, but lets just say that if you needed to find some motivation to get your life moving in an upwards direction again, the conference was the place for you to be.

Initially I was a little skeptical about going to an event like this, but I'd been invited to do a presentation and getting the word out about the backpacks is very important to me. So I went. I listened. I participated. I cried. I laughed (a lot!) and I learned.

So very many of the people we met offered words of support and encouragement and told me that I was an inspiration . . . me? I don't think so, not after hearing other life stories and seeing triumph over adversity in many different ways. But still, I thank those people, without those kind words I wouldn't be here typing this, I'd still be in bed with the cat wishing the day away.

Below are just a few of the people we met in Brisbane!

Congratulations to the winners and all the nominees.

I received the 'Connect2giving' award for my work with the Backpacks 4 Aussie Kids Project along with Dr. Lucy Burns who gives all profits from her online store Better Than Flowers to the muscular dystrophy foundation, (she has MS herself).

Connect2Mums was pretty much my first point of contact for social networking and I'm so happy to be involved and have the opportunity to know these kind and generous group of women, (and a few fellas as well).

des

Image by eszter via Flickr

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What does it take to be a carer?

Image via Wikipedia

It really does take some dedicated people to be foster carers. My partner and I have only been caring for kids in our home since last year, but already we've met with some pretty challenging behaviours!

Can you imagine a child you have never met before, coming in to your home, opening your fridge and just taking something to eat without even a 'Hi, how you doing?'!!  Or what about talking to a child about bed time and having them ask you, 'Who is going to smack us when we are bad?' We even had a child pretend they were a dog for hours on end after a particularly stressful event that happened for her. No words, just 'woof' and 'grrruff!' She even curled up with our dogs to have a nap and would only respond if we spoke to her like she was an actual dog. These are just some of the 'simple' behaviours we have come across. I will mention more in future posts.

Obviously those things are mild, for us - not the kids. But I have heard so many stories of kids coming into care, throwing knives at their carers, screaming abuse, swearing and trashing their homes. What do the carers do? Generally they take it in their stride. They call the 'on call' help number for their agency, DOCS or the police, but once the child has settled down again, they keep working with them until they either return home or they are moved to another placement.

Some of the most horrifying stories I have heard about kids behaviour, you just wouldn't believe and that's really not what this post is about. It's about the 'why' of this behaviour.

Even if the kids don't realise it themselves, they are for the most part just plain scared.

Image by sicamp via Flickr

• Scared of a new placement with people they don't know.
• Scared that they may never see their parents again.
• Scared they will see their parents again.
• Scared they may actually like these new people they are living with but will have to move on.
• Scared the new people won't like them.
• Scared they will! Scared of rejection, humiliation, failure, success, happiness, love, the unkown.

And scared equals  fear which can turn to anger. And what do kids or people in general do when they are angry and unable to express themselves? They lash out or withdraw.

Image via Wikipedia

Children as young as 3 can show violent behaviours towards carers, swearing, hitting, smashing things and no normal behaviour strategies that you may use with your own kids will work. You can't smack them or even threaten to smack them, you can put them in their room and shut the door, you can't even really let them out into the back yard to cool off for fear they may run away!


What do you do? You become eternally patient and understanding, take as much training as is offered and try everything you are taught to keep these kids safe and help them feel like they are wanted and loved in your home.

If the child is as young as 3 or 4 you may even succeed in helping that child have a successful future. But what if the child is 8 or 11 or 15? It's much, much harder.

In this article  - Call for early care intervention, dated -27 June 2010. The UK is looking at what the costs are not just to the state but the emotional costs on the child of delaying taking them into care:

Taking vulnerable children into care earlier could save on emotional and financial costs, a study suggests.

Delays in removing such children from their families are linked with poor mental health and behaviour, say researchers from the Demos think tank.
The report, funded by Barnardo's, says the care system should be de-stigmatised and seen positively.
It says the state can pay nearly £33,000 more per child per year if they have received poor care.


I know that the departmental stand here in Australia is 'unification' all the way. But at what cost to the child? When are enough chances enough?

Please have a read of the full article above when you have a chance.

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Local MP donates to the Project

MP donates items to support backpacks for kids in need

Member for Mulgrave Curtis Pitt has thrown his support behind an initiative to provide backpacks to children entering foster and kinship care.
Mr Pitt said he first became aware of the initiative when he met Despina Parakas at the Cairns Baby Expo.
“Despina explained that she and her partner been looking at taking on the role of foster carers and had discovered that in many cases the children are put into care with nothing but the clothes they are wearing,” Mr Pitt said.
“I asked how I could contribute and made the pledge to supply items for toiletry bags – soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpaste and deodorant.
“It can be extremely traumatic for a child to be taken into care, often without notice, so it is good for them to have these personal items to help cope in a difficult time.”
Backpack organiser Despina Parakas said she had made it her mission to fill 1,000 backpacks with essential personal items for children in care. Miss Parakas has now expressed a desire to continue the project indefinitely.
“The backpacks will contain clothing, pyjamas, a little blanket, new underwear, age appropriate toy or book, toiletries and a torch,” Miss Parakas said.
“All donations are welcome – just remember children in care can be all ages, from newborn babies to teenagers. Pre loved clothing and toys in good condition are always accepted as well as donations of brand new underwear.
“Items can be dropped off at any Overflow store in Cairns, Innisfail of the Tablelands – just look for the wheelie bin with our logo on it.”
For more information visit www.backpacks4aussiekids.org

(taken from  http://www.curtispitt.com.au/2010/07/07/mp-donates-items-to-support-backpacks-for-aussie-kids-in-need/) I did not write this :o)

When I was a child....

Have you ever thought to yourself  . . . 'When I was a child I would never have talked back to my teachers', or, 'When I was a child I was happy to have an empty cardboard box to play with!', or even, 'When I was a child I used to play with the other kids in the neighborhood and wouldn't come home till dark'. ????

As I teacher I have often thought to myself and 'vented' to my teacher friends that I would never have even thought about saying 'no' to my teacher, or throwing a chair at them or swearing at them!

Of course, when I was a child I was taught by the nuns at a Catholic school and would cop the hard end of the feather duster for daring to talk in class. My leather shoes were always shiny and I took a good old Vegemite sandwich and a piece of fruit to school for lunch. If I was really lucky, sometimes I got to share it with the ants that sheltered in my school port ;o)


Now, when my Dad was a child, (of migrant parents from Greece), he got to go to school because he was a lucky kid. It was a luxury and not a right and most kids saw it that way. The ones who didn't fit in had jobs by the time they reached year 7 or 8 and if you were a girl you really weren't expected to finish primary school much less high school to year 10!

There were trades for these kids to learn, jobs for them to do before and after school, not for pocket money, but to help the family survive.

I think Dad finished year 10 but he always pushed himself to work and ended up managing many businesses (including his own) before society deemed it necessary to have a bit of paper from university to say you could do something you had absolutely no experience in.

The kids growing up today seem to be doing so at an increasingly fast pace. Little bras and 'panties' for 4 year olds and bikinis for young girls! Shorty-short shorts, (you know the ones I mean) and skirts for girls and make up kits, shoes with heels and provocative tops. The boys are encouraged to play violent games, (yes, Cops and Robbers and Cowboys and Indians were violent, but there were wooden guns, not semi automatic plastic machine guns!), they are styled to dress like they woke up in what they are wearing and the hair! Don't even get me started on the I-haven't-brushed-my-hair-for-a-month look that takes about 45 mins to perfect!

The movies the kids are exposed to, even just the previews on the TV are enough to make them nag and beg until the parents are taking their 7 year old kids to see movies like SAW and the Date Movie, both highly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 16.

So, why I'm I on about this? Have you wondered why kids end up in care? Yes there are hundreds of different reasons, from kids having babies, to abuse, neglect, cyclical care where the parents were in care and now their children are in care and yet they have more kids.

What can we do? Pretty much nothing. We can't help the parent who is taking their young kids to see inappropriate movies, we can't even help that particular child. What we can do is look after our own kids. Help our friends and relatives who may be struggling with day to day family life. Have a sleepover roster with a couple of families so one couple gets a whole night to themselves once a month. Talk to eachother, talk to your kids about the ads they watch on the telly that are a bit much, (like the new Crunchy Nut Cornflakes ad! I love it, but it took a bit of explaining to the kids we had at the time that it was a joke).

If we talk to our kids the way we would like to be spoken too (still remembering that the parents have the final say), they will talk to their kids like that. They may even be able to make friends with some of the kids at school that are deemed strange or weird because they have learned tolerance and compassion from you.

I guess there is no particular point to this blog. I have just been thinking about what childhood means these days and how much harder it is to be one. You couldn't give me enough money to go back and do it all again in this day and age. I was lucky to have  a happy childhood with no major traumas, a loving family and extended family and it really does hurt to see kids who don't have any of these things.

What is your favourite childhood memory?

des

New Arrivals

I really have to thank all those generous ladies who responded so quickly to my call for help on Facebook last week. I was almost completely out of soft toys to include in the backpacks and nappy bags. In fact I had only 4 left and a giant Kermit the Frog!

So far this week (Tuesday), I have received two parcels of pre loved toys and a backpack filled with toys, clothes and other bits an pieces.

I especially asked for pre loved soft toys. Why? Because I believe they already have love inside them, and something ready to give to a child who may be sad, confused or just plain tuckered out.

The quality of the toys that arrived has been top notch. These toys have obviously been well cared for. Even if they were sitting on a shelf, they have come from a home full of love. I know this because of the very fact they were sent on to B4AK.

Those who know me well are not surprised that I whisper something special to each toy before I zip the bag up. I loved that movie Toy Story because it was something I think we all secretly believe. So I say to the toys, 'Ok now, you are going to be with a child that really needs you, they may not like you to start with but please take good care of them and show them that love is real and for them'. Or words to that effect.

Silly? Probably, but for a few of these children, this teddy will be with them through some of the hardest parts of their young lives.

So, thank you to those who have sent toys, made monetary donations, given clothes or words of support and encouragement.

I really believe that 'if we can' - 'we should'. In this case, make a positive difference in a child's life.

QCWA donates

Tuesday the 21st July, I was invited to attend the QCWA (Queensland Country Women's Association) AGM. Several of their members had taken a clipping from the local newspaper article that myself and Jo were in a while back.

The group was keen to hear more about what we are doing and even had organised a raffle with money raised going straight to B4AK! I didn't know about the raffle until I got there just before the meeting.

And what a lovely meeting it was. The Mayor of Cassowary Coast was the Chairman and the people from the Mamu Canopy walk had also been invited to speak.

It was obvious that the group had had a tough year with the loss of members to cancer and other illnesses, but they all seemed to be very supportive and caring of each other.

When it came to my turn to speak I had to apologise about my lack of knowledge of meeting protocol. I haven't been to a proper formal meeting since high school!

I took along a backpack made up for a girl aged 2. As I took the items out of the bag I explained the reasons that they were included - soft toy to cuddle, torch to feel safe at night, new underwear, activity pack to give the child something fun to do, clothes and p.j.'s especially for the child, toothbrush and paste to call their own and a toy if possible.

The ladies were very concerned that some of the children coming into care didn't have these items with them. I explained that sometimes kids must be removed from their home quickly and they may or may not be able to go back later and get their things. This is important to remember for the older children who already have their own personal issues to deal with, at school, in the playground, with friendships, etc.

At the end of the talk I was presented with a cheque for $60 from the QCWA. I wasn't expecting anything when I turned up, just to talk. It was a lovely gift for kids in need.

Another lady from Tully spoke to me after the meeting and personally gave $50 as did the Laurel club of Innisfail.

A really great day! And....? I hear you ask.....Were there pumpkin scones with jam and cream?
YES!!! and mini caramel tarts, home baked cakes, finger sandwiches cut into triangles and cups of tea.

The only sad part of the afternoon for me was realising that all the ladies in the room were over 60 and some much, much older. I hope this wonderful Association is able to stay strong and gain new and younger members.